How To Actually Text Girls




Affiliate Disclaimer

As an affiliate, we may earn a commission from qualifying purchases. We get commissions for purchases made through links on this website from Amazon and other third parties.

Jeffrey’s phone vibrated again, the screen illuminating with her name. Each notification was a burst of happiness, a sign she was as interested in him as he was in her. But beneath this veneer of digital romance, Jeffrey harbored a gnawing unease. Despite their constant messaging, she always had an excuse for not meeting in person. It was a pattern that repeated itself, week after week, month after month, each excuse more inventive than the last.

Then, one day, as Jeffrey scrolled through Snapchat, his heart sank. There she was, radiant and laughing, but not with him. The guy from her stories, the one who seemed to be ever-present in her life, was now officially ‘the boyfriend’ – the real Adonis to her digital Aphrodite. This revelation hit Jeffrey like a punch to the gut, a stark contrast to the world of texts and emojis they had built together.

How to write your first message

The initial connection occurs when you match with a girl on a dating app, maybe when she follows you on Instagram, or when you approach her and get her number. The next step, step number two, is the first message you send her. This should be a simple “Hi” plus a genuine compliment.

Now, although the ‘red pill’ guys especially never compliment and advise never to validate her – I don’t agree. If I think a girl is cute, I’m going to tell her that. Authenticity and genuine sincerity are why I’m attractive and why I seem confident. I’m not going to hold back if I feel a certain way about someone. Forget most of the advice you’ve ever heard about interacting with women. When your brain generates a thought and you don’t express it, you’ve already lost that authenticity. This is how you automatically attract women who are truly compatible with you.

That’s all you need to know. I could end the article right here. Text out what your brain says. Even if it seems stupid, trust me when I say that if you text such things to every girl, you will eventually find the one who is truly compatible with you. Most texting advice is trash because it’s too different from what your natural brain is like. Eventually, you start matching with girls who are nothing like you, and that kind of relationship dies down because you can’t keep up this false charade.

So, in this first message, it’s just a simple “Hi”, “Hey”, or whatever, and a genuine compliment that your brain automatically generates for her. This is why I seem spontaneous and attractive. I have the confidence to express how I feel about someone. And if she’s anything like me, if she’s compatible with me, she’s attracted to that.

Step number three, after your first message, is one of the most important parts of this…

How to lead the conversation when texting a girl

Let’s say you send a message like, “Hi, you’re cute,” which is very simple. She might respond with, “Oh hi, thank you. How are you?” This is where many guys, let’s call them ‘Jeffreys’, might reply with, “I’m good, how are you?” This kind of response can lead to a dead conversation because it’s unoriginal and can be perceived as boring.

It’s important to acknowledge that many girls might not be the best texters. This isn’t a sexist comment, but a reflection of the reality that many girls don’t need to be good at texting due to their abundance of choices. As a result, their texting skills and social skills might be basic. They might send you a boring text like, “Hey, how are you?”

If you’re a ‘Jeffrey’, you might let her lead the conversation by simply replying to her questions. However, I approach texting in a way that’s almost methodical, like a business or formal communication mixed with emotional connection. It’s almost systematic in the sense that when she texts something like, “How are you?”, I respond as if I haven’t even read that part of her message. I refuse to let the conversation fall into mundane exchanges.

For instance, if she texts me, “Hey Hamza, how are you?” I wouldn’t respond to such a personal question directly. My advice is not to answer boring questions like that. Maintain control of the conversation, and ensure it remains interesting and engaging.

How to meet up with the girl your texting with

You should aim to lead the conversation towards arranging a meetup, ideally within a couple of days. From my personal perspective, if you’re unable to meet up within a few days, it might reflect poorly on your value. This is just my opinion, but if she’s the only girl you can currently connect with, and say, she lives in a different country or you can’t see her for three weeks, it suggests a lack of self-respect. It’s not about wanting a texting buddy; it’s about wanting to genuinely connect with the girl.

Particularly for men, and even for women, the physical aspect of a relationship is incredibly important. If you can’t meet within a few days, the connection often fizzles out. So, in step four, your goal is to steer the conversation towards organizing a date in the next few days.

Now, let’s talk about planning that date. Step five is about structuring this date…

How to structure the date

Making Plans That are Genuinely Interesting

The key to an effective date invitation is to suggest something that you were going to do anyway. This approach not only makes it easy to invite the girl but also appears more attractive. This is where the straightforward advice of this guide might lose the interest of some, but it’s important to note: if your life isn’t inherently fun or adventurous, it may be less appealing to others.

Sadly, many young guys miss out on being attractive because they don’t engage in fun activities. If the only time you plan something enjoyable is when you’re with a girl, and you don’t regularly have fun otherwise, then there’s a fundamental issue. This is why some young men are unappealing to women. If your life revolves around reading self-improvement articles, your text invites might be uninteresting. A girl wants to be part of your exciting life, not the reason for its change.

Getting Out and Trying New Things

You need to be already doing fun, cool, and adventurous things. But the fact that you’re reading this article suggests you might not be. That’s why you’re seeking advice on how to text girls. So, the basic advice here, as cliché as it sounds, is to leave your house and try new things. You’ve probably heard this from others, but it bears repeating.

It can be as simple as exploring new places. Use Google Maps to find interesting spots in your area – a bar, a park, a comedy club. These are the places you’re going to invite her to. But first, make sure you visit them yourself.

How to reschedule the date

When you invite someone to join you in an activity, saying something like, “I’m going to do X, would you like to join me?” is instantly more attractive than a vague or standard invitation, such as “Do you want to hang out sometime?” or “Do you want to Netflix and chill?”

Step 6: Dealing with a Lukewarm Response

In cases where she isn’t extremely responsive and doesn’t immediately agree to the date, the next step is to try rearranging it a couple of times. I suggest doing this once or at most three times. For example, if she says she can’t make it on Friday night, you could respond with, “No worries, what does your schedule look like?” She should make it easy to schedule the date. If it feels difficult, she might not be that interested in you. Persisting in such a scenario can lead to an unenthusiastic date where she might just be on her phone, showing little interest in you.

Step 7: When to Move On

If, after trying to book the date one to three times, it’s still not working, it’s wise to cut your losses and stop messaging her. Maybe, after a month or so, you might revisit the conversation, but generally, if you can’t set a date for the same week, it’s unlikely you’ll meet. It’s often better to move on than to keep trying to set something up for the future.

Once the date is booked, say for 7 p.m. on a Friday, the next step is to keep the conversation going until then. Whenever you feel like it, you can send a message to keep the interest alive.

Emotional Connections through Text

When it comes to creating an emotional connection through text, simplicity is key. Let’s say you’ve met a girl through a dating app and have exchanged just about 10 messages. A simple message like “Excited to see you tomorrow” can be very effective. If you genuinely feel this way, express it, as it can make the other person feel good. Imagine how you’d feel if someone sent you such a message.

The Importance of Making Her Feel Good

If a girl has agreed to a date, it means she’s attracted to you and interested in you. She likes something about you. Even if you’re new to her, showing a bit of emotional vulnerability through texts can be positive. Contrary to what some might say, making someone feel good is a good thing, especially if she’s shown interest by agreeing to a date.

Sending Emotional Connection Texts

Until the date, consider sending one or two messages a day that build an emotional connection. These aren’t about sending funny memes or trying to make her laugh; it’s about expressing what you genuinely think and feel about her. For instance, if you’re thinking about the upcoming date, you might text her saying, “Just thought about our meeting on Friday, and it made me smile.”

Being Authentic

There will always be differing opinions, but being authentic is crucial. If you express your genuine thoughts and feelings, you naturally filter out those who aren’t compatible with you. If a woman doesn’t appreciate your authentic self, then she doesn’t meet your standards. The key is to find someone who is attracted to your genuine authenticity.

Meeting for the Date

Step eight of the texting process is to meet for the date. Whether you end up sleeping together or just connecting in other ways, it’s important to continue expressing your genuine feelings. This authenticity forms the basis of a meaningful connection.

When to text a girl

After you meet for the day and have a good time, it’s crucial to continue the type of texting behavior you’ve been doing. Maintain a somewhat business-formal manner for arranging future dates, while interspersing emotional connection texts. This mix is important. The business-like approach efficiently sets up dates, and the emotional texts express how you feel about her.

The Importance of Emotional Texts

Emotional texts are essential because they help filter out women who are truly right for you. This texting strategy, which might seem a bit cringy or unorthodox, is effective because it invokes your honesty, authenticity, and confidence. It stands out compared to the approaches of other guys.

Frequently Asked Questions: Adopting the Right Mindset

Now, let’s address some frequently asked questions. The most crucial question, which is often overlooked, is about the best mindset for…

FAQ how to text girls

The best mindset when texting girls

Understanding the right mindset is crucial for success in texting girls. Often, people get caught up in the details like what meme to send or how long to wait before sending a message. However, the mindset is what truly matters.

1. It’s a Numbers Game

Firstly, know that for men, it’s always a numbers game. In the initial stages, you should maintain a low emotional investment in any particular girl. Convey a sense of abundance. This means you should either have other women in your life or at least give the impression that you do. The reality is, you’re unlikely to meet 99% of the girls you interact with on Tinder or elsewhere. Keep in mind that there’s about a 1% chance you’ll meet up with any given girl. So, if she ignores your message or can’t meet, remember it’s just part of the process and move on.

2. Girls Just Want to Have Fun

The second essential mindset is understanding that girls want to be part of a fun life. If your life is enjoyable and interesting, girls will naturally be drawn to you. Conversely, if you try to create fun solely through texting, it’s likely to be less effective. Girls don’t want to be the sole source of your fun; they want to be invited into an already exciting lifestyle. This is why many young guys struggle; they’re not living a genuinely fun life but instead trying to find enjoyment through texting.

How often to text girls

A common question is about how often to text and how long to wait between messages. If you’re overly concerned about these details, it might indicate overthinking. The key is to respond when you’re in a ‘personal life’ mode – meaning, when you’re not engaged in other activities like studying or working.

Personal Life Mode vs. Work Mode

For instance, in my case, I’m usually in ‘business mode’ during work hours, say from 5 to 8 PM. This is when I focus on my work and communicate with clients, often using WhatsApp. If I receive a message from a girl during this time, I might see it but choose not to reply because I’m not in a personal life mode. Once I switch to personal life mode, and if she’s messaged me, then I reply.

Authenticity Over Calculated Timing

Avoid the internet advice of doubling the time she takes to reply or similar tactics. Such strategies can compromise your authenticity. Ideally, you should be busy enough that quick replies aren’t always possible. If you find yourself always ready to reply immediately, it might indicate that your life lacks other engagements, which is a more significant issue than learning how to text.

Addressing Potential Lifestyle Issues

If you’re constantly in a position to reply immediately, it might be time to evaluate your lifestyle. Being always available can be perceived negatively. If this advice feels offensive, it might be worth considering a dopamine detox to change your life patterns. However, if you’re resistant to such changes, it could be indicative of deeper issues.

What If you can not meet the girl

A very important question that often comes up is about the feasibility of meeting when there are physical barriers, like living in different countries, being far apart, or facing restrictions like COVID-19 lockdown rules. To this concern, I’d like to pose a reflective question: Do you really want a text-only relationship?

The Illusion of Satisfaction from Texting

You might think that texting is fun and that you enjoy connecting with a woman through messages. However, it’s important to recognize that the pleasure derived from texting is not the ultimate goal. What you’re truly seeking is a connection with a woman, and the depth of connection through text is incomparably lesser than a real-life interaction.

Internet Relationship vs. Real Relationship

An internet relationship is no substitute for a real, in-person relationship. High-value men don’t typically pursue relationships solely through the internet. If you find yourself considering an exclusively online relationship, it might be time to introspect. Ask yourself why you’re settling for this kind of interaction.

What if you truly enjoy texting

You might wonder if it’s okay to send her memes, especially if you both enjoy them. However, it’s important to remember that while girls want to have fun, the way you text can convey certain impressions about you.

The Impression Created by Texting Habits

If you’re frequently texting about memes, it might suggest that your life isn’t particularly exciting. While she might find the conversation fun, you risk being categorized as just a text buddy. Consider what your texting behavior is conveying: a lack of interesting activities in your life and possibly overinvestment in trying to entertain her.

The Trap of Being Just a Notification

If she’s getting the best of what you can offer via text, she might not feel compelled to meet you in person. You become just another notification on her phone. While receiving her texts might feel validating, it’s not fulfilling your actual desire for a more meaningful connection.

Reducing Your Value to Just Texts

The problem with engaging in fun text conversations, as often advocated by younger guys, is that it can pigeonhole you. If you give away everything through texts, she doesn’t have a reason to meet you in person. You’re essentially just a texting buddy, and many girls have plenty of those.

Personal Experience and Advice

From my experience, girls are more likely to meet someone who intrigues them, whom they’re attracted to, and who they want to know more about. If you’re revealing too much via text, you lose that mystery. I’ve found that a business-formal manner with occasional emotional connection texts works best. To give you a better idea, I’ll share some screenshots of my texts as examples for inspiration.

About the author

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Latest posts

  • How To Lose Fat Without Tracking Calories

    How To Lose Fat Without Tracking Calories

    Welcome to your transformative journey towards a healthier you! If you’re tired of sifting through the endless stream of fad diets and conflicting health advice, you’ve landed in the right place. This guide is your beacon in the murky waters of weight loss information. We’re here to demystify the process of losing fat – not…

    Read more

  • 5-Year Body Transformation to Greek God Physique: A True Success Story

    5-Year Body Transformation to Greek God Physique: A True Success Story

    Embarking on a bodybuilding journey is like sculpting a masterpiece. It’s a path filled with dedication, transformation, and eventually, triumph. But what happens after you’ve chiseled your physique to its zenith, achieving that dream Greek God look? In this insightful piece, we dive into the post-goal world of bodybuilding, exploring the art of maintaining muscle,…

    Read more